Are you a Quitter?!
Research has shown that people quit their resolutions for the year by the second Friday of January, Friday the 13th this year! It’s even being called Quitter’s Day (urrggghh how awful!). Well that’s a good a reason as any right there to not make resolutions we cannot keep! I don’t really commit to any new intentions for the year ahead until February, as I find my energy is low in January and prefer to hibernate a bit longer until Spring. But if I feel unusually motivated before then, I set an intention about something that feels manageable, that boosts my energy and brings me happiness. This week, I’m re-starting gym weight training (which I let lapse over summer when moving and renovating the house so it’s just picking back up something I have done for years) and I joined an easy-breezy morning writing group where we meet online for one hour every morning to write, no pressure to turn up, no sharing or feedback, it’s just a way of building a daily writing habit for January. Loving it by the way!
Pressure does not equal success!
I don’t even refer to these as resolutions as I find that adds pressure for me and implies effort and I’m just not up for either right now! Unrealistic pressure and trying to change everything about your life in one go in the coldest, wettest, coldest time of the year is why most people quit within two weeks! Instead, I think the New Year can be for setting general intentions and goals, that I can slowly work on throughout the next twelve months so that by this time next year I’ll feel proud of myself. I love to work through my favourite new year’s journaling questions (I have created myself a set I use each year) and then collate my dreams, intentions and goals onto a Vision Board that helps keep me focused and motivated over the year. I LOVE this process so much I’m running a workshop on 29th January (not too early in January see?!) all about ……
“Create your 2023 Vision Board”
Join me for an inspiring, blissful morning to:
Declutter your mind with focused journaling prompts
Set your 2023 goals & intentions
Create your very own vision board
Learn how to stay on track with your dreams in 2023
Receive a bonus gift: My favourite recommendations - books, podcasts, weblinks etc
If you’d like to join us, the link is here
New year, new me - such a load of b*llocks!
Early January is rough for a lot of people, as you may feel a little overfed, hungover, rundown, peopled-out (I assume it’s not just me feeling this right?!) and unhealthy after the holidays. This can lead to a serious lack of inspiration to get back to a healthy routine and habits – but don’t worry, this is so normal! No need to feel guilty, beat yourself up or fall down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts spiralling, just start by talking a bracing walk outdoors – this always helps me reset and feel more grounded. No pressure, no stress, every day is a new day so you can start anytime. It does not have to be today, if today doesn’t feel like the right for you.
You don’t have to engage with the “new year, new me” marketing ploys out there either, those same advertisers were selling you chocolate and wine a week ago, so you don’t have to buy into it. There is nothing wrong with the current you, you don’t need a new one! You don’t need to transform, overhaul, drop a dress size, get a new job, run a marathon or hike in the rain unless you really want to. You can choose to go at your own pace and if you feel called to, set an intention or a realistic goal that excites one, not one that punishes you, bores you and makes you feel shite about yourself. If you feel excited by the idea of setting a new intention, then the next step is to jot it down on a paper and give some time to reflecting on it. Give it and you space to breathe before launching in. This step in my opinion is critical for success.
4 ways to stay motivated
Let’s assume, you’d like to set an new intention, I will be adding to mine next month. So to keep myself motivated and hopefully help you too, here are some of the top ways to help keep new year’s intentions (if you decide to make one).
The tried and tested methods
You’ll likely have heard these before as they are part of the popular discourse around this time of the year, and they have lots of wisdom underpinning them too.
1. Write them down, try make them specific, decide on how you’ll know when you’ve got there and set some timelines for any steps they might include
2. Explore your motivations, lets say your goal is to be able to run 10km in 70 minutes by 30th March – in order to stay focused, you need to understand why you are doing this and what is exciting you to take on this goal or resolution
3. Do a little every day – little and often is more achievable
4. Track your progress and reward yourself. Let’s say it’s the 10km run again – set mini milestones along the way (eg) 3km / 5km etc and put them on a wall chart of record them in an app to help you stay motivated and tick them off as you go. Add in mini rewards for each milestone reached – I love this one!
5. Take a step: Ask yourself what’s the first or next step I will take to make this dream a reality for me this year?
Newer approaches to achieving your dreams
These are newer approaches grounded in research that you may not yet have heard of. They are practical and helpful to consider.
1. Reduce your stress
Your state of mind is an important part of sticking with your commitments. A study at the University of Zurich found stress created barriers to self-discipline—causing people to compromise on their intentions because they felt emotional, tense or anxious.
Take a walk, practice yoga, breathe deeply, meditate, spend time in nature, share time with a supportive friend or listen to familiar music—whatever works for you to find calm and control. When you’re able to de-stress, you can manage your behaviour better.
2. Talk to yourself!
Use self-talk to remind yourself about your “why” for your resolution and encourage your own motivation and capabilities. Use encouraging, positive inner chatter & repeated affirmations to contribute to your own success with your resolutions.
3. Exercise
Keeping your commitments and persevering in the face of discomfort require engagement from the part of your brain which expresses executive function. Interesting studies by VU University Amsterdam found exercise, even in short bouts, can boost blood flow to the frontal lobe which controls this executive function and higher-level cognitive processing.
4. Buddy up
I find this so helpful for accountability and motivation. According to research from the University of Georgia, self-control is contagious. The people you are with influence your ability to demonstrate will power—or not. As the phrase goes “iron sharpens iron” surround yourself with people who inspire you.
Team up with a colleague who also wants to learn a new skill at work or take an online class together with a long-distance friend. And be selective about who you spend time with. If you want to drink less at gatherings, stick close with people who are good at expressing their own control and their choices will influence yours. If you want to get fit, go running or walking with someone who puts on their trainers and heads out regularly.
Sources of Info & Inspo!
Here are a little taster of some of my favourites on this topic. I’ll share lots more of these with you in the Create your 2023 Vision Board (online event) if you’re coming along :)
Podcasts:
Pat Divilly – The Habits Habit
Deliciously Ella Changing Habits – Reaching Goals
Books:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life by Tara Swart
Stolen Focus by Johann Johari
I wish you ease, enjoyment and luck whether you decide to make resolutions, set gentle intentions or pass on the lot! You get to make the choice that feels right for you and remember, every day is a new day so you really can start any time you wish.
Thanks for reading.
Le grá,
Maeve x
PS. if you enjoyed this blog, you might also enjoy the follow up one all about The Two Faces of January