This week I feel like I’m in a tug of war, being pulled over and back. Some days I hold my ground, strong and steady. Then I’m yanked towards the line and in danger of falling flat on my face. Next I’m inching backwards, fighting with all my might, heels dug down, teeth gritted. This pull and push, back and forth, effortful, tiring, ah yes, I know for sure I’m in January, the battle ground of rest vs resolutions.

At this point of the year, you might feel drawn to more a typical January - get moving, set goals, and so on - if so, great! For most of us, however, our energy levels are still low, and it can feel jarring to take action at this fledgling point of the year. And this is exactly why I find myself feeling so torn, so unsettled. If this feels more like you too, take solace that you are not alone, and there is no pressure or need to have everything figured out right away! I keep reminding myself to go with the flow and that if anything feels too much, I can opt out, I can change it.

I truly believe January is for hibernating, just look outside, nature is still at rest. Yet my work - teaching yoga classes & wellbeing events, is completely at odds with this, I am in one of the busiest times of the year - the new year resolution rush. My work flows in waves - busy Spring, slower summer, drozy late summer, busy Autumn and quiet Christmas. Because of these ebbs & flows I don’t have the luxury of being able to switch off and take all of January as a holiday no matter how much I’d like to cocoon! And so I created classes, events, sent emails, wrote posts, booked venues, designed classes, printed flyers and hung up posters, answered texts, whatsapps and DMs. And unlike a job that finishes at 5pm on a Friday, there is no end to the amount of work that can be done, it’s always there in the back of my mind.

I have new yoga courses starting from 9th January, a retreat (21st Jan in Ballygarry Estate & Spa), a workshop (Create your 2023 Vision Board on 29th Jan), corporate events, all of this is awesome and I am so thankful to everyone who has signed up to join me. I am very thankful to be in this position, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel torn. I remind myself it’s okay to feel tired and grateful, it’s ok to feel excited and scattered. It’s okay to want to work and to rest too. But today if I’m being honest, I just felt really overwhelmed, I’m tired, the energy of the month is urging me to rest, to be still and quiet, yet here I am trying to get busier. It’s no wonder I feel all over the place and a bit like a headless chicken running one way, then the next, then giving up and sitting down to watch back to back episodes of Jane the Virgin (amazing tv show netflix!) but then I’m reading a book, cleaning the house, feck it I’m off for a walk. Jasus it’s exhausting!

Interestingly the word January is linked to the roman god Janus. The god of beginnings, gates, transitions, time, duality, thresholds. He is usually depicted as having two faces. It makes perfect sense to me as it feels like two very different energies in one. I don’t have this all figured out, I am feeling my way through January, one hand on the wall in the dimlight of the new year, trying to work out where I’m going, trying to avoid stubbing my toes, hurting myself or keen not to break anything as I fumble along.

I’m a practical person and I like a plan, it helps me feel less like I’m drowning. So here’s what I’ve got - I’m taking work as it comes, to not worry about classes & events that aren’t yet fully booked and trust they will fill up in the coming weeks, this is week one of fifty-two, we have lots of time. I’m also planning to do very little in January outside of work, I want rest, I’m saying no to social occassions and outings until February. I’m rescheduling non urgent tasks, skipping should-dos and planning something lovely to look forward to the start of February when it all settles down, a little reward. I’m practicing yoga in the mornings at home on mat, back working out in the gym to clear my head, I’ll keep writing and walking my dogs and this is what balance looks like for me this month. This is how I hope to navigate the choppy conflicting waters of January.

So how about you? Do any of this resonate with you? Leave me a comment if it does, I’d love to hear how January is feeling for you.

Thanks for reading,

Maeve x

PS. If you liked this blog, you might also enjoy reading another about Why I don’t set New Year’s Resolutions